Good moaning! Lord, I am so tired. I have that annoying tired eye syndrome – you know the one where your eyes feel like they’ve just been born and everything is far too bright. I feel a little bit like Gizmo, but a great deal cuter and much less prone to producing evil spawn after a late night glass of H²O.

Well, I’ve got so much to report; I hardly know where to begin. Did anyone else manage to blag tickets to see the Scissor Sisters live in Trafalgar Square the other week? Weren’t they good? Wasn’t sure about Jake Shears’s scary spandex costumes though… they were quite a sight to behold at after a couple of glasses of cheap vino, I can tell you. But he certainly wasn’t the oddest looking fella I clapped eyes on that night - between him and his huge, red feather boa-wearing gay following and the leering ex-boxer security guard with the mashed up knuckles who kept trying to give me his phone number, there was enough to keep any avid people-watcher more than occupied.

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